There’s your money and there’s your marriage—the question is: can they co-exist. Your and your spouse’s attitudes and agreements about money are crucial to your marriage, in both the short-term and the long. Negotiation and compromise are essential here: if either spouse insists upon his or her untrammeled control over the money, then the marriage probably will not endure. It’s even more difficult than that: unless the spouses maintain entirely separate finances, and perhaps unless the spouses also have executed a pre-marital agreement, then one spouse must be responsible for—that is to say, must control—the finances. That creates problems for both spouses, the controlling spouse may be just that — controlling and, perhaps, domineering. This situation creates conflict. One spouse may perhaps feel both empowered and burdened by being in charge of the couple’s finances, the other spouse may feel ignored or threatened by not being in control of the finances.
In this topic on marriage and money, we will address the various ways that couples have coped with marriage and money.